BattleCON Wardlaw Guide

I AM THE (WARD)LAW!

Alright ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is! Men want to be him, ladies want to be WITH him. He's the one, the only, the amazing, cue drum roll, Wardlaw "The Law" O'Brien! Thank you, thank you, you are too kind.

Of course, no one can really reach the heights of Wardlaw, his raw power, his raw charm, his raw cunning, his raw ability to eat dozens of hot dogs in a single sitting. But with these little tips, maybe YOU can at least try to emulate a tiny fraction of his brilliance.

Part 1: Hit 'em with the clothesline

Alright so, you are middle in the fight, right, and your oppoent is just standing there. What do you? Well, the strategy is as simple as it is cunning: you wait for them to make a mistake and BAM!, you've hit 'em with a Massive Clothesline. That'll send 'em sprawling, and if there's a wall behind them (or the ringside, or whatever else), you can even hit 'em for half their health. And if their back are against the wall, and you can't clothesline 'em, then BAM!, you just Charge 'em instead. There's no escape from Wardlaw once the big man has you in his sights. Or maybe you Smack 'em Down and crash them into the corner. And once you got 'em in the corner, there's no escape from this Dangerous villain!

Part 2: No one puts Wardlaw in the corner!

But what if THEY put you in the corner? Well, just bounce off that wall to gain some speed and then smack 'em some! And maybe they are far away, and that's when you hit 'em with a crushing Overhead. So really, corners for Wardlaw are win/win/win situations, cause of course Wardlaw wins 3 times MORE effectively than anyone else.

Part 3: The Pain Train has no brakes

Maybe you let your opponent get a false sense of safety by letting him hit you a few times. But really, he was playing into your perfect plan all along. You create some distance, right? And then BAM!, you hit 'em with the Pain Train. Or maybe you flip off a wall and crush 'em with a Double Moustache Buster, a move that's sure to make all but the most hardened spectators swoon in pure delight.

Anyway, that's all you need to know about the fighting techniques of the great man himself. Just remember the ABCs: Always Be Clotheslinin'. With those words, you can't lose, and that's a guarantee!* And if you DO lose, your opponent was probably cheatin', so it doesn't count!

*(guaranteenotactuallyreedemeablepleasereadtermsandconditions)